Just recently I insisted I probably wouldn’t be interested in scrap booking. I’m still probably not interested in scrapping per se but my therapist assigned me the mission of creating one to include ideas about how I’d like to present as a female. This sounded like a reasonable and helpful idea so here I am making a scrap book! Doh! I went out to dinner with Tom and Denise tonight and Denise helped me pick out some basic scrapping stuff at Michael’s to get started. I went a little on the cheap side since I’m still looking for gainful employment in the wake of my consulting gigs drying up several months ago…more news on that later as I’ve been working pretty hard on this, the monetary front.
Dinner out was fun. The guys are poking fun pretty hard but I’m thick skinned about it after years of taking and giving this kind of abuse and it’s probably a good sign that they don’t want things to change too much between us as friends. The latest joke is that they’ve created a betting pool as to who gets to third base with me first after my transition. Ouch! Yep, it’s harsh but there have never been any bars held in the past and this is only moderately severe ribbing by our usual tortuous standards. Oh well, I got Tom back when he threatened to riffle through my purse when I get one. I told him he wouldn’t do it again after he found my dilator. This pretty much shut him down and got him blushing. Haw!
My wife is out of town on business tonight so Bryan is coming over afterwards to hang out for a bit. He’ll get to see my makeup mirror and such which is setup next to my main computer. There’ll be some uncomfortable joking abou it but over time I’m confident that they’ll acclimate.
Oh! I called Dave last night and filled him in and at first he totally refused to believe me. After an hour or so of chatting he was about 50/50 convinced I was serious. I found out today that he called Bryan and Tom both to check on my story and even went so far as to accuse them both of being in on the “joke”. Once Denise talked to him he finally realized that this is the real deal. At this point he made a few comments about how he thought that I should suck it up and live out my life as a man, how the whole thing was unnatural, and how they should have an intervention to convince me to come to my senses. He’s a bit of a conspiracy nut and a weak thinker (lack of higher education) so he actually tried to blame my decision on a mind weakened by antidepressants. Basically, he’s an idiot but, in the end, he did tell Denise that he would support me and continue to be my friend. I think he will but I’m sure his even-crazier schizophrenic father will continue to poison his mind with this rot. Surprisingly enough, I’m not the least bit offended or put off by this. I just couldn’t be happier to finally be on the right path in life and totally honest with myself. Who would have thought something as simple as this could be so powerful?
I also tried to call Jim but he’s out of town for a long weekend and works rotating shifts so it may be a day or two before he calls back. I also still need to tell some of my old Religious Studies professors from VWC who still maintain contact. Dr. Wansink will understand as he’s young and open minded and I think Dr. Sheally will too. He’s old but spry for his age and sharp as a tack. He’ll probably see this as a chance to learn something new. Dr. Kessler is also old but in failing health and a bit conservative. That said, he’s as kind as anyone can be so I think he’ll handle it well. Honestly, I think he’d suffer much more if I told him I was an agnostic techno-utopian!
